Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Advice Needed.....When to move kids to their own rooms

I need advice.

My boys are constantly fighting.

2 of them (6 &9) share a room with a bunk bed.

I constantly hear "Do I only have to clean up MY mess? That's not my mess! He won't shut up! Tell him to be quite! He woke me up!..."

We have an extra room we could move someone into. (my 12 year old has his own room)

So my questions are......
  1. Do I separate them because they drive each other (and me) crazy? 
  2. Or do I force them to stay together until they can be friends?
  3. What ages did your kids get their own rooms?
Any advice or thoughts are greatly appreciated!!!!  Thank You!! :)
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  1. Give them own spaces and that will eliminate some of the squabbles. Don't be surprised if they begin to seek each other out though.

  2. Thanks Karen! I've caught myself saying "You guys are never going to get your own room if you can't get along" but I think that is more of a punishment on me then them! lol I'm also sure I'll start to hear "He went in my room again" very soon. I remember that a lot when I was growing up. :/

  3. I have three boys 15, 14, and 12. They all share a room. Always have, always will (unless we move of course). They fight, wrestle, and argue about just about everything. I will say however, that there are precious moments late at night when I hear them laughing hysterically or hear one of them reading to the others.
    I'm not sure I have a definitive answer for you but I do think sharing a room makes the boys learn to work together, be more tolerant of the different personalities, and make some memories that they may miss out on if they are separated.
    Best Wishes on whatever you decide to do!

  4. I believe that it is important that each kid has its own room! If there is available space of course! My kiddos (4&6)went to their own room from the very beginning of their existence! They do have some fights from time to time but mostly they feel they cant be separated!

  5. I have 5 kids. My oldest, ds15, has his own room, and always has. He was the only child for 7 years. The other 4 share 2 bedrooms. The middle boys are together, and the youngest girl and boy are together. Eventually, we'll need to move the ds4 out of his sister's room to be with his older brothers.

    While the boys are driving you crazy, it may be a phase they go through, I hope. What about having them help you redecorate the room? They could create their own little space for a treasure box or something that is just theirs. You could also help them come up with some rules for taking care of the room, and let them decide on the consequences of not following the rules ahead of time.

    Personally, given the way society is now, I think kids sharing rooms is a healthy way to teach kids about community and dealing with others.

  6. Great thoughts on both sides, thanks everyone! The other thing I'm dealing with is my husband does not want my 12 year old moved downstairs. He says teenage boys on a different floor then their parents with access to the family computer and TV are a bad combination. I'm the oldest of an all girl family so I have no experience with that. :(


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